In loving 

memory

of

My son Billy was born in Phoenix Arizona at County Hospital on November 27, 1978. We had a rough start and both of us had to stay in the hospital for almost 2 weeks.

From the start though he was a very easy baby. Steve, his older brother adored him and I would catch Steve trying to pick him up. Boy he would scare the crap out of me.  10 months later my sister Jackie gave birth to twin boys, Brandon and Brian. Hence started the "Killer B's" as we called them. Those three could do the impossible when they were all together. Then I had another son named Ricky and now we had 5 boys. What a hand full-we wondered if we would ever make it.

But my forth child was finally a girl--Marci!
Then I moved to Holbrook (where I still live) and had 2 more boys- Cody and Angel. In 1987 I met and later married my wonderful husband Moe. He brought 2 more boys to the group, Jesse and Patrick. Now we had 8 kids. Of course through the kids years and later teen years we never had just 8 kids.7 boys and 1 girl. WOW! Each one had to always bring a friend, weather it was just going to the store or on the hundreds of camping trips we took.Of all my kids Billy has the biggest heart of all. He did the usual kid things like sneaking out of the house after we went to bed. He thought Mama wouldnt notice but I did and go driving around town till I found him or he beat me home. He never really thought about how scared that can make a parent. Through the years Brandon and Brian lived with us often. And as then as was till a few weeks ago when Billy died they were still a threesome. BESTFRIENDS AND COUSINS!!!
Billy's first love was always baseball or softball. From his first time at bat in t-ball till the time he was killed he wore the number 6. He had found a good team in Phx on the mens softball league- team name-BEER 30. I dont think that there was ever anybody that met him that didnt like him.Even his new team. He was a damed good ball player. He helped take his team to win a championship!! Its what he always wanted. To be appreciated for his skills as a ball player.
He was also the best Uncle any kid could have. He just marveled in how his niece Lexie at 4&5 could climb right up onto his head without any help. Miah and little Bob(his sisters kids) were his life. I could go on an on but the truth is he was(is) just a wonderful boy and then man. And Im am proud to call him MY son!

I love you Billy Marshall--always have and always will!! Till we meet again my love---You have my heart and soul.
I hope I can make it without you!!!

I want to tell you a little story(one of many) about Billy. When Billy was about 10 years old he and his brother Jesse were riding our 3 wheeler in a field by our house. On the other side of this field was our local dog pound. Billy saw some people put "something" in the animal drop box. He went over to see what animal they put in there. It was 2 mama cats and 10 kittens. He came home and asked if he could get the cats out. I told him okay but he was in charge of the cats.. He got a box and went back over to the dog pound. The mama cats were wild so as soon as he opened the cage they were gone. So he brought the kittens home and luckily they were weaned. Im afraid his dad is going to have a fit that he brought all these kittens home but Billy had a plan. The next day was a Saturday and Billy and Jesse wanted a ride "up the hill". Its where our park and swap was. He had 2 chairs and that big box full of kittens. They proceeded to sell all these kittens and they did! All to good homes!!

With the money they made from the kittens they bought me some earrings.

This is just one small thing that showed what a BIG heart my Billy had..

Saving these kittens that were going to be put to sleep. And buying his Mama a present with what he made..

I LOVE my Billy!

What a Grieving Mother Really Thinks

Written by Kelly Cummings

Hello old friend,
Oh yes you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please
Don’t look away
And change the subject
It’s ok.
You see at first I couldn’t feel,
It took so long, but now it’s real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk,
Come sit with me?
You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, “My, She is so strong.”
They did not know I couldn’t feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.
But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from me..
My child! My child!
The horror of reality.
But everyone has moved on, you see,
everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.
“But I thought you were over it,”
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.
And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All I’ve just said to you in my heart.

This is a picture of Billy's nieces
and nephews on 4/14/07..
Billy lived for these kids and
loved being their uncle.
Pictured is Derrick, Miah, Lexie,
Isaac, Robert and Amanda
under the Adopt A Highway sign
that we got in memory
of Billy. They are all doing the
Rock and Roll sign with their
fingers for UNCLE BILLY!
The 4 grand kids that are
missing are the twins
Ricky and Anthony and
Alex and baby Jen.

4/12/2008

Brandon Lee, Billys cousin, Brandon Obren, Billys good friend,

Cody, Billys brother,, Scott Klein, Billys good friend,

Steve, Billys older brother,

Mike Bowers, Billys good friend,

Phil Wills, Billys good friend,

Mama

Lauren, Billys sister-in-law

Angel, Billys youngest brother

 
I don't know why I'm writing this to you
but I do guess its for the whole world
to see what a wonderful man I raised.
It NEVER even crossed my mind that
anything like this would happen.
The pain is unbearable..
Every morning I wake up to another
nightmare day and I always will.
I guess its always been my lot in life
to have things done to me and taken from
me because its all my life has been--
one thing after another.
You, Steve, Ricky, Marci, Cody and Angel
ALWAYS kept me going, made my life worth living.
With one gone nothing is the same
and I will mourn you till I meet you again.

Billy, you were bright, funny and so full of life
and the only one to ever get your mama to calm down. 
 Do you remember the 3 times you saved my life.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you and
I swear, as God is my witness I would do anything
to trade places with you.
You were my one and only Billy and no mother
could ever be prouder that I am of you.
I MISS YOU
I LOVE YOU
LOVE MAMA!





Heres MY baby Billy



Jesse




Mama and son Ricky


Pat



         



      Billy, Brandon, Brian

 "The Killer Bees"

Cody and Janeane
# 11 grandchild due in September of 08

and ITS A BOY!

October 13 2007
Mr. and Mrs. Cody Candelaria

Marci Lynne'
Billy's only sister
and
 bestfriend





This is the car my son passed away in.
I believe the other boy in the car was driving! His name is

ANTHONY JOHNSON  from Florence Arizona!

If I ever see him I will kill him!
My son is proof that you can NEVER trust anyone with your life!
HE
took something so very precious 
to me and the hundreds of other 
people he touched with his being alive..
Mama Loves you always Billy
I'll see you soon..
Love Mama

                                                                                   
                                 
My decal on the back of my truck for Billy



Mamas tattoo for my baby!!

Braves sticker I had

made for my truck in

rememberance of my Billy!


My son LOVED the Atlanta Braves!
All his life!!



One of Billys bestfriend
 Brandon putting on our
 decals of him. Like it or
not this was my Bill



Billy, I love you son so 
much. I dont know why 
this happened to you! You didnt drive like a 
maniac and the car
 wasnt running right, you
 told me so yourself.
 Even when you went to
 Codys and I talked to
 you, you said the car
 wasnt running right.
Then how did you end up
 going with this kid you
 didnt even know. Out on
 a back road and rolled?

Baby, I  picture it in my
 head and its so horrible--
and I wasnt even there..
The nightmares..

YOUR MY BILLY
nobody elses....Why are 
you there and not still here with Mama?

Its  the NIGHTMARES OF
 NIGHTMARES.

I love you more than life son, you will always be with me
because your a PART of me and always will be..

Your MY Billy!

   


I'm Van- proud mother of Billy



This is going to be my new tattoo for Billy
I Love him and he loved the Atlanta Braves

Here is another website for Billy--My Mom(his grandma) made for him.                            http://www.angelfire.com/az3/friendsandgod/BILLY.html 

http://dana-nobles.memory-of.com/

Billys beloved first cousin Dana's website
YES we lost two in of our young loved ones in 3 years. Both to tragic car accidents!


My Billy with his cousin Dana.
She was killed by a drunk driver 5 years ago.
I love you both so very much.. But mine and Danas saying was "love ya lots"!
They are in Heaven together now..


I love you Dana
take care of my Billy
he loved you so.

Billy loved to play softball and he was very good.
But more than anything he was an Atlanta Braves fan. We would argue(jokingly) that he was born and raised in Arizona he HAD to be a DiamondBacks fan...But he NEVER would sway. He never missed a game in Phx..Diamondbacks vs. Braves. And he would sit on the Diamondbacks side--SCREAMING for the Braves-lol-he ALMOST got into a few fights that way but he had his bros along and they werent bothered.
Im going to go to the first game when Atlanta is here against the Braves and take Billy's place. I'll bet they dont mess with Mama either Billy!!

ON July 28th 2007 my mom, my sister Jackie, a friend Lynn and my nephew Brandon and his sister Alysha(both Jackies) went to watch the Braves play the Diamondbacks.

All of us had poster size pictures of Billy in his Braves hat and jersey and we got the attension of starting pitcher

Buddy Carlyle. What a wonderful and tender hearted young man!

He took one of our posters to the Braves dugout and had ALL the ATLANTA BRAVES starting line up sign it!!

He had tears in his eyes when we explained what had happened to Billy.

Wow--Billys favorites were the first on the list--Chipper Jones and Andruw Jones!

My kids had told me not to get my hopes up about getting autographs but I told them NOBODYS going to stop this MAMA on a mission. I was right! But it is all due to BUDDY!!!

Thank You

ATLANTA BRAVES!!!

And Buddy!

I love you my baby!!
Stay with me--I need you!!

A Mother's Grief

You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go

How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see

You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childs casket,
watched it perched above a grave?

You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.

I swear that I'll remember
till the day I'm very old,
the friend who sat and held my hand
and let me bare my soul.

Kelly Cummings
12/8/03

ALL OUR BEAUTIFUL ANGELS




Thanks to all the Ladies of
P
E
A
C
E
4 US


For all the beautiful gifts
    that made my Billy's site
as beautiful as
  HIS HEART!



This is dedicated to my loving friend Diana.
Her daughter Jennifer was killed in a rollover accident just 7 days after graduating from high school. She was 17.
"JEN"
was a bright shining star here on Earth
So I can only imagine how she's lighting up Heaven.
We ALL miss you baby girl but
not nearly as much as your Mama. 
You were not merely her daughter but 
but also her "bestfriend".
I love you Diana!
There is no way I can ever thank you for what you have done for me..because 2 little words like"Thank you" just doesnt seem enough.
But I do Thank You!!
"Jens" site is
www.jennifer-dixon.memory-of.com

Love forever
Van



Thank you Tammy for always(and I mean always) being there for me.

Mama will always love you my Billy! 

i will keep you alive for your neices and nephews--I promise!!